Silly Boy
by Good Evening
Summary: No sex; fighting and swearing. Zero is in the hospital for the first time and Kaname and Yuki visit him. Yuki leaves them alone for an evening and it ends apocalyptically. For the first time, I'm absolutely devastating Kaname. Epilogue universe.


If anyone spies a mistake, please report it to me.

Also, this is probably the only fic I've ever written that has made me genuinely stricken because of what I've done to Kaname. I have sympathy for him, and I don't like that. Please enjoy.

* * *

Zero listened to his diagnosis with the same aloof resignation he'd had since he'd woken up from the fall. Yuki and her husband had come by for a rare visit—mainly to check up on him—and had found him collapsed at the _bottom_ of his staircase. He'd wondered afterward, high on pain medication, why his body couldn't have given out when he was on the nice shag carpet of his den, or the oversized leather chair in his library. The doctor droned like buzzing flies, and he almost felt the urge to smack him down with a swatter.

"... We're not sure what he has yet, but I'm going to recommend you to a few other doctors, as well as keep you on steady pain meds. There are a few forms you'll have to sign…" On and on like that. Never mind that Zero already knew what was happening to him. Hell, Kaname should have probably known at least a small bit of what he'd done.

The couple stood and shook the doctor's hand when he made to leave, "Also, visiting hours are usually cut at 10 p.m., so…" That was going to make things difficult. They were most likely going to bring this to a specialist. Or anyone that actually _knew_ their shit, unlike this nasally, high-nosed son of a—

"Zero, we're going to be staying with you through the night. If there's anything we can get you," Zero waved her down,

"Please: God knows you should be at home. I'm getting out of here soon enough anyway. You shouldn't have to worry about me." Yuki bit her lip and watched his soft eyes flicker on that hard old face, struggling to remain gentle and break the reign of his most certain senility. She turned to her husband,

"It would probably be a good idea for you to rest. I'll stay here if you want." With his word Yuki pouted, and he smiled, leading her out. Zero watched them interact, immediately seeing the 'lovesick syndrome' Ruka had been blabbering about when they'd all gotten hammered. Nobody put a lampshade on their head, although there are nastier things possible.

He snapped to attention when the door clicked open. Kaname came in, closing it almost soundlessly after he'd realised Zero had been dozing. "Oh, don't bother," the man in the bed said, "you never cared before. Doesn't matter now." Kaname's look was tense and grim, but it was hard to say anything in a situation like this. Zero motioned for him to have a seat, and he did so without much hesitation. The man stared him down, almost egging him on; as a dead man, his skill at glaring spitefully had increased by at least twenty, if not thirty percent.

"So," he said finally, "you're not going to feel too overwhelmingly guilty about this, are you?" Kaname came out of his rigid blankness, "It's just that I know you like to shoulder the world, and I don't want to be fuel to the fire when my flame goes out." Not that it would help his position in the slightest; he just loved taunting the man; 'baiting him', if you will. Kaname's jaw tightened in annoyance, but Zero had to look hard to see any other signs of emotion. He'd almost lost hope that the brunette would have the courage to speak when he finally piped up,

"Staying away from the main subject isn't going to make it disappear," Zero's eyebrows rose, and though he was being more arrogant than usual, it was as if Kaname was really the arrogant one, talking out of bounds to a man who knew much more about his own position than he. He felt like choking; "This disease does not stall or cease or go away,"

"And, you would know such a thing because you're so up on what your kin do to helpless bystanders like myself?" Up and shining, that eyebrow was more of a foe than Kaname wanted to handle at the moment. Zero shifted, getting comfy, "Like you said, it can't be cured, etcetera, etcetera. From what I've read, my having consumed the blood of such a predator has effectively doomed me," 'Predator' made Kaname's grip on his hat tighten, crinkling it, "your blood goes after my blood, eating it up and dying off as it's deprived of its original environment, I start to loose good function, things get deprived of oxygen, eventually the marrow goes to Hell, and when my blood gets too gooey for **anyone's** taste," Almost like wagging a finger at him, the bastard. He got up energetically from the bed, Kaname growing nervous that he was walking around so soon, "My heart and brain stop working, and I, essentially, die." Kaname tried to speak, "_**Unfortunately**_, trying to fix this or even prolonging the inevitable is _highly_ unethical. Blood transfusions would only worsen it, and you cells would only get angry." He was pacing, now, and Kaname was nearly impressed. "I _**deduce**_, my dear Watson, that the only possible way for me to survive much longer—all this is from what I've read. Impressive, isn't it?—that the only way for my body to survive is through the consumption of more of that fantastic poison of yours. It's not only strong—like good coffee—it's bitter and ravenous enough to want to control my system and run things at a quick rate—also like good coffee.

Kaname would have been speechless if he'd felt overwhelmed. He felt like clapping, but he'd already ruined his hat, his grip had been so tight, and they felt more like strangling than applauding.

"You think you have all this figured out?" He said as calmly as possible. He was a terrible liar, but he'd gotten rather keen at acting. Zero beamed emptily, and that shook Kaname's begrudged resolve,

"Oh, not only have I figured _that _out, but I also know that you will most certainly give me the blood, whether I want it or not." Kaname held a small smile of wonder at how good Zero was at this. At how bitter and severe he was, even though he was close to laughing his lungs out his throat. Kaname was in pure awe, and they had loved this bizarre game for years.

"You see, there are two reasons. Reason one, the guilt-tripping and Yuki's own battering you into it, if it comes to that. Which I most certainly do not recommend." He stared at Kaname, second finger half-raised as he stalled on his list. He stared hard at the man, the same embittered, tired wisdom leaking through his eyes and shaming the proud man. "And reason two," He said much more quietly, staring intensely, completely levelled with the pureblood, hospital gown dead still in the windless room, "Your obligation goes much further than some old guilt, doesn't it?" Kaname stared up at him, no longer relaxed as he had been moments before. A sadness kept him from answering Zero's gaze, so the man approached him, the papery white of the gown matching too well his own skin.

"I know you're too much of a thick-headed politician to ever seriously consider apologising, but I think in doing what I know you will, it'll be your own little compensation after all. Right?" Zero was very close now. Kaname could feel the thin skin of his elbow resting against his hand. His breath was cold, and Kaname felt, for the first time in his life, the crawling sensation of death. Even more than when Zero had sealed him and told him his fate. The grey-haired man looked at him with the same emptiness of his cold skin and breath, and Kaname had a hard time taking it,

"You don't like being under anyone's control, do you?" Kaname gave him an odd look,

"And you do? What makes you think you have any real control over me?" Zero didn't roll his eyes because he was an adult now, and he understood that at a time like this, the best thing to do would just be letting the opponent stew. He settled for the high road and gave a daring, logical look. Kaname didn't expect him to lean in for a kiss. His eyes widened,

"Only that I can do this," Kaname was paralyzed, and Zero made a small seal with _their_ saliva, drawing it on one hand, "and this," and then the other, "and have you in almost complete paralysis until I either pass out or give out. I'd say that pretty much passes?" The brief kiss had knocked Kaname's senses, and then it was all about the nostalgia of what they'd done together and the excitement of their game. "I can do anything I want, Kuran." He leaned in again, hands still resting on Kaname's. The brunette's blood boiled outrageously at the soft touches. When Zero was little over a millimetre away from kissing him again, his teeth clacked together in a false bite, and Kaname was stunned out of his trance.

"But no, no, that would be all-too kind," He closed his eyes and waved it off, losing focus on the seals as they disappeared obediently. "And anyways," He climbed back into bed, fluffing the pillows dramatically (beating the Hell out of them) and settling in (falling on the mattress), "I know my hook on you extends far beyond that. Yes, normal intimidation doesn't work with the likes of you. There's no telling what really would get to a man so hardened, other than his precious wife and prospective brood." Kaname was still reeling slightly, the taste of rot in his mouth much more prominent than he would have liked. He wiped it off as inconspicuously as he could, disguising it as a sniffle. Zero pouted,

"So I taste so terrible even the Black Widower can't take it? Ouch, brother, ouch." He shifted on his bed, purposely rumpling the cool blankets. He had the brunette wriggling in his chair, looking horrified that he'd been caught,

"Zero, you know I would never think of you that way." He said defensively. The man in the bed looked him straight on,

"Even a stone knows when he stands on the edge of a cliff. Don't take me for a fool, Kaname. I don't like it." He was getting quite comfortable with senility. Whatever tenacity he'd had in his youth had faded, and its corpse bore an intriguing new era of complete apathy and hardness. Becoming accustomed to it was difficult for all of them, and his snappiness and non-directional anger sometimes frightened his old friends.

Kaname responded softly, "I don't think you're a fool, Zero," he looked uncomfortable, trying to look for something in the room that would give him more confidence as he spoke, "but I do think you don't care anymore. About Yuki, me, or life."

"Whatever gave you that idea?" The light-haired man smiled and bit out as a bitter challenge. In a second, the other man was by his side, looking ready to kill and cry.

"Where the Hell do you get off acting like this?!" Zero sat up, throwing the blankets to the end of the bed,

"Where do **you** get off?! Coming in here every day, practically weeping and saying all this depressing shit?!" He grabbed the man's collar, though there was no strength left in him to go much further than that, "I'm damn glad I'll be dead soon. It'll free me from your goddamned games and your fucked-up, pathetic little schoolgirl confessions!" Kaname threw him to the bed, pacing and looking villainous,

"No matter what we do, we can't get you to understand," the man said quietly. Zero coughed, his back having landed at a bad angle,

"Stop saying 'we' you weak bastard. Don't drag your loving wife into this. Jesus Christ, you make me sick; you said I owed her, and now look at what you're doing. Made me hate you all the more to think you would do to her what I did to you in the same evening, you disgusting bigamist." Kaname put an end table through the wall, the plaster cracking and giving way as the wood splintered its devastated edges. "Oh, throw a tantrum. Did that one hurt? I wonder if she knows how sensitive you are down there. How you screeched when I fucked you. Maybe I finally share something with her?!"

"**BE QUIET**!!!" The elder shouted, rounding on the other man. Zero didn't say anything, simply standing across from him with a rather unaffected look on his face; like he honestly didn't care. It scared Kaname to death. "Don't dare say none of this affects you: these are the same damn fronts you put up all through…" he wanted to say everything he could to convince the fading thanatos, but he didn't understand the way a dead man's head worked.

"'Our tryst', I believe is what we called it." The past tense stung the taller man, and Zero was damn proud of that. "Stop fighting for this wretched little cause." He looked straight into those dark, big eyes, "No matter what you do, it's not going to change my opinion of you."

"And what exactly would that opinion be?" Kaname asked, calming down, though it was easy to notice the rage and immense fear pouring off him in waves. Still, the slightly shocked, apathetic look on his friend's face hit him hard:

"I despise you. I thought you knew. All those times I purposely had you in pain," he started smiling, "how could you possibly think that wasn't anything but torture and revenge?" His look was incredulous and his face brimmed with his bitter confidence, "I absolutely hate you, Kaname."

The brunette stood there for a moment; devastated; a surreal and overcome look on his face as Zero waited for his response. The lamp over the bed cast a strange light on his face, and silhouetted the man he was staring at. Finally, his shoes clacked on the tile as he returned to his chair, but he stalled, hand only just barely caressing the thoroughly-scratched wood. The light-haired man had little patience, but he was so kind as to lift his rival from his self-pity and depression. So, he sat on his bed, grabbed his book and kicked back. The brunette knew he was ignoring him, so when his hand made a fist and he hid it behind his shirt, the talons slowly coming out as all the words ran through the same function: desperation. The air swelled for a moment as he opened his mouth to speak, the silence suddenly becoming all the more deafening as it closed in on his ears in long rings.

"You're not the type of person to do so much for nothing." He stated quietly. Zero looked up at him casually, waiting to see if he was going to say anything else. When he didn't, the younger sighed and placed his book squarely on the white vinyl night table. He crossed his fingers and looked at the back of a black shirt, because apparently, that was the only thing he was allowed to see of the other man, at the moment.

"Is it so hard for you to believe you're just a pet to me? I know I'm a terrible owner, all the traumatisation I tried to force on you, but surely something must have gotten through that thick skull of yours."

"You're lying to cover up something else," it was then that Kaname turned around, displaying a sad, half-smile, "I watched you with the loyalty of a dog and the attentiveness of a human. You aren't the only who plays these games." Zero withstood his small confession with reservation, then looked over at his book, the incandescent light of the lamp on the table much stronger than that of the one hanging above the bed. Then, softly, he spoke,

"I'll tell you if you honestly want to know," he said mildly, eyes looking over the red leather of the hard front. Kaname listened, dread and unease flooding his gut. Then, the man looked up at him, steely face half-shadowed by the dual sources of light, "but I know that it will hurt your wife. You would do best to go back to her, tonight. It's bad manners to fuck a wounded person when they're still in the hospital bed." Never mind that, on several occasions, Zero had been rougher than most other times right after some sort of large fight. And the powders and medicines he'd have the man consume bordered on the deranged and sadistic, though the majority of the arguments Kaname put forth were unsupported in their vital points, frankly because Zero _wasn't_ 'conspiring against him'. In fact, all he was doing was waiting for past activities to take full effect and come to fruition. He'd been on a five-year holiday, vacationing until his friend finally opened the door and understood. But he had no real idea of when that would be, considering the man's current attitude.

He sized up Kaname, then sighed and scratched at the back of his scalp in irritation, "Look, the doctors said they've been keeping me for observation. I get to go home soon. Let's go insane someplace where no one can get hurt."

"That has nothing to do with it. You're just tired of being 'harassed'. You're sick of the lot of us and you're trying to take the easy way out." Zero frowned at the other man's threatening stance,

"You **want** me to keep abusing you like this, then?! You **want** me to keep talking?!" He said. Kaname blew up in frustration,

"It would be better than this damned apathy you keep slinging around! For God's sake, stop playing such a damn lost soul!" Zero advanced on him quickly then,

"**Fine**," he said hastily, "you want me to talk? To tell you things? You want me to tell you why I started this whole thing: kissed your lips instead of hers? Brutally **fucked** you instead being tender? You are the **weakest** dilution of your so-called pureblood lineage and pride; can't even defend your wife and _sister's_ honour against a cripple. Makes me wonder why I yearned to fuck you, instead, when I found out you two were fine and happy, living in a dream." He gripped the back of the man's skull and yanked hard, his eyes ablaze, "I **wanted**," he hissed stressfully, "for you to be dead in a ditch long ago. You are **shit** to me. The only reason this relationship turned into anything more perverse than it was already was because **I** wanted some entertainment." He released Kaname and waited for the man to leave or strike back, but the cold, dismal look on his face spoke of darker things. His stark audacity was an insult to Zero's passion and strain.

"Five years ago, you would have been telling the bloody truth, but that pretty little speech I'm sure you rehearsed so much when I **allowed** you near me no longer applies. You're an old, unhappy **gimp** who lives only for his own selfish desire to ravage others. You are **weak**, you are **mean**, and you can't stand the fact that no matter what, you will always love me." The silence hung heavily between them, and the thin line of Kaname's mouth closed again, his resolve titanic and immovable. Zero stood before this imposing monolith with an eternal grudge: his only reason left for living was so he could torture this seemingly unaffected beast. Silently, the grand figure loomed near him, eyes closed as he leaned in to kiss the frozen man. His tongue parted their lips briefly, arms firm on both sides of the weak body, thick brown coat making them seem like trunks protruding from the harmfully hard pillow. He came away, the soft string of saliva between them wavering in a current of air. They separated, and it disappeared. Zero looked across the room indifferently, eyes slightly hidden by bruised, tired lids. And then, with the cruellest look imaginable, he looked up at the awaiting prince and said,

"I wonder what it feels like to embrace the one you love." For the first time that night, Kaname was motionless. His inert arms stood, free of the time stream on either side of their object of affection. Slowly, he pulled away, and the dead look in his eyes immediately dissolved whatever anger he might have had, and the fervent desperation he'd had moments before died inside of him, leaving the shell of his body and his duties. Zero looked upon him almost emotionlessly, even though a great, unknown pain welled inside of him from seeing the barren desolation struck so deep in his lover.

Kaname rose from the bed, the harsh indents his hands made in the fabric twice as deep as the weight Zero's own body impressed upon it. His eyes were completely empty, and the hunter did not want to imagine the guilt he would feel for the rest of his life because of that single moment. Those eyes would haunt him until his death.

The brunette left the bedside and gathered his things quietly, face lax and almost porcelain in its perfected emptiness. Hat in his right hand, the left closed in on the doorknob, twisting it gently while Zero picked up his book with a hardened sense of 'it's-better-this-way'. Kaname turned around then, watching him for a few seconds,

"Yuki and I will be around tomorrow at five." Zero nodded, glasses already on, thumbing through the pages, the worn leather a comforting godsend on his shaking fingers, now stony because of its substantial weight. He didn't bother looking up, but saw through his peripheral vision as Kaname turned in increments, facing the door for a few seconds before numbly opening it. "We do love you, Zero. I hope you know that." _**Please**__ know that_. But, no matter what he did at this point, the seemingly older man was already focused on other things, wrinkles creased tightly in determination as he read and skimmed. With nothing left to say that wouldn't damage him further (or make the grey-haired ex human think any less of him) Kaname left, the black weight in his abdomen consuming the whole of his heart as he stared mindlessly past the nurses' station, reaching around the snack machines and into a blank, faded blue wall. He feared the click of the door as it closed, the sound echoing in his head as he released the metallic handle, gloves screeching quietly as they slid harshly along it. Then, thoughtlessly but for his own despair, he began the walk to the parking lot, so he could go home to the woman Zero loved, though he could not bring himself to resent her for that.

Zero simply turned the pages in his book, aimlessly reading a text he could no longer comprehend, barely breathing in the room Kaname's passion had destroyed. It wouldn't be hard for much longer, but as he tried to convince himself that telling the truth now would really be for the better, the immense guilt that had swollen inside of him for so many years stopped contracting. As it was released from his strength of will, it flooded him with an immense pain he had not known in a very long time, and it worsened from knowing that the pain he had just thrust Kaname into was infinitely more destructive and cruel. And this was something he could never reverse, not even on the day he died.


End file.
